Kidnapped At 30,000 Feet
by Moonsetta
Summary: The Young Justice team is kidnapped! By who! But wait, Robin has a plan! OOC. Humor story with no purpose other than to make you laugh! One-Shot.
1. Chapter 1

Hey everyone who decided to check this story out. I've just recently left the TMNT forum after successfully writing 100 stories, so I'm browsing fandoms at the moment, my BFF told me about Young Justice and, well, here I am!

Well, I've only watched about three episodes because truthfully, the animation scares me, the writers have rewritten a lot of things about the characters that makes me angry but I'm giving it a chance because DC's reboot is making me angrier than it EVER could.

I mean, they've put pants on Wonder Woman! (I won't even start on the whole Amazonian culture subject) And I've heard something about her having a relationship with Superman? ( I thought it was creepy enough when she flirted with Batman!)

Barbra Gordan is becoming Batgirl again (I've never liked her as Batgirl. Actually, I've never really liked her period. I liked Cassandra as Batgirl and Stephine Brown was better as the Spoiler.)

I could rant for hours about what they're doing to Nightwing! So I'll just stick with this: They're blowing this red theme way out of proportion!

And they've given a bunch of superheroes collars on their outfits. I'm like-WHAT? Why? Give me one good reason!

And there's a whole bunch of other things I'm too lazy to type right now.

Anyways, with that rant done, I'm hoping most of you skipped it, here's the one-shot. It's OOC I guess, the story's weird. That's all I'm saying, this is complete intentional humor.

I don't own Young Justice.

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><p>"AHHH! WHATDOWEDO? WHATDOWEDO? WHATDOWEDO? WHATDOWEDO? WHATDOWEDO?"<p>

"KF, calm down," Robin said as he leaned back against the far wall.

"DUDE WE HAVE BEEN KIDNAPPED BY THE JOKER! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CALM DOWN?"

The Boy Wonder sighed and eyed his other teammates. Superboy was still attempting to punch his way out of their flying prison. (At least Joker had come up with something new other than the old abandoned factories and warehouses criminals always seemed to use.) Aqualad was sitting quietly in the corner, his eyes closed in concentration, probably trying to think of a way out of their current predicament. Miss Martian looked similar, though she was more than likely trying to telepathically reach one of their mentors, more than likely her uncle.

Artemis was taking it all rather well, simply fingering the straw that had been laid out around the perimeter of the dungeon themed prison room out of complete boredom. Kid Flash, of course, was still speeding around, scanning the walls to try to find a way out. Truthfully, it was kind of boring.

"Hello kiddies!" said a shrill voice followed by a maniacal laugh that could only belong to one villain in the world.

"Joker," Artemis mumbled looking up at the cell door that kept them trapped inside.

The crazy clown stood there, eyeing the teens with his wide, evil smile. Was it really weird anymore why a lot of kids feared clowns? They had only this weirdo and probably IT to thank.

"Well don't worry little ones I'm just waiting on the Bat."

Robin rolled his eyes, "Of course."

"Then what do you need us for?" Kid Flash asked, forcing himself to stop running around with his super speed.

"Eh, you happened to be in the same place as Boy Blunder over there."

"I'm bored," Robin said suddenly.

"What do you want me to do about?" Joker spat, folding his arms over his chest.

The youngest member smirked, "Put on a Jester's hat and do the chicken dance."

The henchmen behind Joker cracked up.

"Shut up! I'm the one that tells the jokes around here!"

"Could've fooled me," Robin said, still smirking.

The mad clown growled under his breath and stalked out of the room, pulling something out of his pocket as his henchmen followed him. Loud gunshots followed.

"Poor henchmen," Robin said, then got to his feet, looking around the room.

"Dude, he is so going to kill you," Kid Flash said, running to his friend the short distance that there was, and latching onto his arm.

Robin scoffed, "Oh please, I've been kidnapped enough to know how to handle these kind of situations."

"You are constantly kidnapped?" Miss Martian asked, floating over to them, having given up the attempt to reach help.

"That doesn't bode well for your fighting skills, Boy Wonder," Artemis said with a smirk.

"I mean the other me," Robin said with a dismissive wave, "The civilian me."

Oh boy, he could not count the many number of times he had been pulled into alleyways, beaten to unconsciousness only to wake up in the sacks he was deeming body bags. It was always the same thing:

RANSOM

RANSOM

RANSOM

Of course, being the heir to the Wayne fortune had its benefits and downfalls. Especially that fortune being the 3rd largest in the world and soon to be 2nd largest if Bruce was able to build a shared contract between his company and NanoTech Inc.

"Seriously, I've got it all covered, sometimes it scares me how much I know the Joker."

Robin went up and started banging on the steel bars of the cage.

"WHAT! I'm trying to fly this thing!" Joker shouted as he came stomping into the room.

The other team members just stared in shock and surprise.

"I'm hungry," Robin said, glaring in an attempt to copy his mentor's famous Bat-Glare.

"I'll get you some slop then."

Stupid Boy Wonder had nerve to drive the poor crazy clown sane!

Robin crossed his arms, "I want a T-bone steak!"

"What! How am I supposed to get a T-bone steak up here?"

"Your problem."

Joker growled, "Keep it up boy and I'll drop you into the Pacific ocean below us!"

"You can't do that Joker, you know what would happen if Batman got here and I was gone."

"Fine!"

He stomped out again. He'd been having a bad day really. Everything had been going wrong! Now he was stuck with teenagers! They were the worst, not mature enough to obey demands like adults but not innocent enough to corrupt like younger children.

"Dude, did you just really score a T-bone steak off the Joker?"

"Just wait for it."

Three minutes later it arrived.

"Where's the gravy?"

"I hate you."

"Ew beef gravy."

"It's healthier."

"It's grosser. Why did you bring me a T-bone steak!"

"You asked for it."

"I'm a vegetarian you idiot! Man this place stinks, get me some aerosol!"

At this point the Joker was fidgeting at the controls. If he heard that Boy Blunder's voice one more time-!

"Hey Joker, get back here!"

He shot into the room, "WHAT IS IT NOW?"

Robin was leaning against the fall wall, "This room is boring! Redecorate it!"

Joker reached into his pocket, pulled out his gun, held it to his own head, then put it back and went back to the control room. Thankfully the ship had an autopilot feature.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Robin asked Kid Flash, who was making letters with the straw.

"I am writing your will."

"Are you certain you should be acting such a way towards our captor Robin?" Aqualad asked, his eyes half shocked, half confused and half worried.

"Yep. Pretty sure."

Surprisingly, the room was redecorated, the youngest member calling for a hunting lodge theme. After looking at it though, he promptly knocked down the fake deer head that had been mounted to the wall.

"No, still boring."

Sky theme. Robin knocked away the forth grade attempt to make clouds out of cotton balls.

"Boring."

NASA HQ. The Boy Wonder took down a space helmet and wrote on it after demanding a sharpie.

"What the heck are you writing?" Artemis asked.

"Chaleur spécifique."

"What?" Kid Flash asked, his eyes slanted, although he was still mentally going through all his best friend's belongings at Mount Justice. He would get most of it.

"So are you satisfied?" Joker asked, hoping with every fiber of his being that the Bat would hurry and swoop in.

This was the last time he worked with teenagers!

"No, this room is still boring. Try medieval dungeon."

He did so.

"Perfect."

"This was how it started!"

Robin's smirk grew, "Nothing like getting back to the basics." (1)

"You're despicable Boy Wonder! Worse than the Bat!"

With that, the Joker left in a huff.

"I give him 3 hours," Artemis said with a shake of her head.

"I give him eleven minutes," Kid Flash said.

Robin sat down and stretched out on the stone floor, "We'll be out of here in ten minutes tops."

"How do you know?' Superboy asked, he had long ago given up the attempt to break down the walls.

"Come on, you really don't think I did all that for nothing did you? It's all part of the plan."

"What plan?"

Robin waved his hand in the air dismissively, "You'll see. Now, I'm going to take a nap. Wake me when Batman gets here."

With that, the little bird laid down and quickly slipped into Dreamville.

He had been wrong it hadn't taken ten minutes. It had taken five minutes. Enough time for the team to see the Joker step back into the room with a large butcher knife. Instinctively, Superboy stepped in front of Robin. They were all sure the mad clown was coming to slit his throat given what he had just put the Joker through.

Unbeknownst to them, eyes hidden in the room's far shadows widened at the sight of the members grouped around the little bird, then switched quickly to the Joker with the butcher knife as the clown smiled, "I'm just back to finish the Boy Blunder."

Parental concern made the most logical of minds jump to conclusions. But this was good, either way.

A dark gloved hand shot out and latched itself around the Joker's throat and he dropped the knife, which had really been a papier-mâché wall decoration.

"Batman!' the teens shouted and Kid Flash shook Robin.

"Come on, wake up. Daddy-Bats is here."

He wouldn't wake up.

"Rob! This ain't funny! Wake up!"

A growl escaped the Dark Knight.

"Eh, can we talk about this?" Joker said with a creepy wide smile.

You know, if only he hadn't shot his henchmen earlier.

"Kids, close your eyes."

The End.

(1) Yes, that is a Spongebob reference.

Free virtual cookie if you can understand the plan Robin used to tell Batman where they were.

So, that was a first attempt, oh and I'm writing a full Young Justice story with a friend of mine. I'll post chapter 1 sometime this week, maybe. I have learned that me and my BFF have completely different writing styles from the last time that we did a collab. Most stories we never reach an end with. So, here's to hope.

If you read this, I dare you to leave a one letter review. Oh, and I give out these review challenges a lot. Like, how many dollar signs can you print, by typing or by copying and pasting? Stuff like that.

Thanks for reading!

~Moonsetta


	2. Chapter 2

Hello readers! Yeah, I know that this was only supposed to be a one-shot, but given the confusion about Robin's plan, I decided to type this up. This explains how Robin was able to contact Batman.

Oh, and to answer another question that was asked, Robin pretended to be unconscious in that last little bit so Batman would beat the Joker to a pulp. Simple really.

I don't own Young Justice.

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><p>It was just ten minutes after Batman's arrival that the Young Justice team was quickly off of the Joker's flying fortress and back on solid ground, where <em>most <em>of their mentors were waiting.

As predicted, Superman was absent. Well, perhaps one truly couldn't call him a mentor, given that he hadn't taught his clone anything. Clearly aggravated, Conner just watched as the others received worried looks and relieved smiles from their families. Aquaman had even shown up, which was a feat in itself. He was complimenting Kaldur.

The Flash was handing over a huge chocolate bar to his nephew, and Wally began eating it immediately as fast as he could. Superboy wondered if the guy ever got a stomachache. The two Martians were silent, but given their closed eyes, they were probably engaged in a telepathic conversation. Green Arrow was not one to worry, but he was, nonetheless, giving Artemis a relieved smile. More than likely thankful that the girl's mother wasn't going to kill him now.

Always fear the ones in wheelchairs, they are without mercy!

Batman was scanning his protégé for injuries, but a slight tilt of the boy's head assured him that he was in good health and he nodded in acceptance before the other heroes and protégés surrounded the two.

"So you got my message?" Robin asked.

"Yes," Batman said stoutly, given that he barely spoke anyways.

"When did you send a message?" Wally asked in confusion, finishing up the huge candy bar, as the others stared at Robin, clearly puzzled.

"While we were in that cell."

"But you didn't have your communicator," Miss Martian said.

The Boy Wonder rolled his eyes and smirked, "I told you it was all part of the plan."

"What plan? What was your plan? It makes no sense!" Artemis protested.

"Easy. I simply told Batman that our team was airborne in a flying apparatus over the Pacific ocean."

"And I'm lost," Green Arrow said, raising a hand to his blonde haired head and then turning to the Dark Knight, who simply said nothing.

Everyone was still confused.

Robin sighed. Curse detective skills.

"Look guys. T-bone steak, T, Team. Aerosol, airborne. Deer head, the meat is called carrion, carried on. The cloud, something flying. What I wrote on the helmet, Chaleur spécifique means _Specific_ gravity, specific, Pacific."

Batman cut in, "So a quick scan of the Pacific Ocean with our satellites for any unregistered and misshaped flying apparatus was our first course of action."

Everyone just stared.

The Dark Knight reached out and placed a hand on his protégé's shoulder as the Bat-Jet landed beside the group of heroes, "Let's go home."

The Boy Wonder nodded and did a couple of flips before landing in one of the front seats of the Bat-Jet, a large smile spreading across his face as Batman jumped into the driver's seat. He waved to the others, the top closed and the Dynamic Duo were quickly flying away.

Down below the Flash shook his head and threw his hands up into the air, "Bats ."

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><p>Heaven forbid I EVER write a detective story, no one would understand it.<p>

Well, that's it. Live long and prosper. V

~Moonsetta


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